To the Ends of the Earth
by October103
Summary: After everything that's happened, Kendall's fallen in love again, with Lucy Stone. But will her past and this mysterious secret prevent them from really being together? Some cussing in later chapters and a heavier topic to be revealed later. *Kucy pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_Hey! So I'm starting to really get into Big Time Rush again (Okay, let's be honest, I'm starting to really get into Kendall Schmidt again, lol) and after watching the most recent episodes, I've kind off fallen in love with Kendall and Lucy as a pair. I never really liked Jo and I'm glad they're pairing Kendall with someone more... him. Anyways, this is my fist BTR story and I hope you all like it. It's not going to be as humorous as the show, bt I hope you enjoy it regardless. There will also be heavier topics later on, so just a warning so you're not blind sided later. Alright, alright, I'm done ranting, please review and let me know if I should continue. This chapter is purely expierimental. Enjoy!_

_Slight warning: May contain some Jo bashing, so sorry to offend anyway, but this is a "Kucy" story._

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Big Time Rush or any of it's characters. I do, however, own the characters that I create._

* * *

The guys and I lounged by the pool, finally having a day off after two weeks of straight rehearsing, writing and recording. Gustavo and Kelly were literally working us to the bone, getting ready for a tour that wasn't starting for another eight months. Don't get me wrong, it was fun, writing new songs, recording stuff that was even better than before, but it was exhausting. It was nice to have a day to relax; to hang out with my best friends and not have to worry about getting up early the next morning or the new dance routine that we were already supposed to have memorized. I wasn't worried about a thing and it felt grea-

"Does anyone know when Lucy's getting back?" Carlos asked.

My hands stiffened behind my head and my jaw tightened; I tried not to suddenly glance over at the sound of her name. So maybe I _was_ worried. Maybe I was worried about my own well-being. I'd managed to fall for the one girl that was completely off limits. Not only was she was she way out of anyone's league here, but she'd told us all specifically that she didn't want a relationship, wasn't looking for a boyfriend, she was… not available, to put it mildly. And oddly enough, I couldn't get her out of my head, no matter how hard I mentally pushed or shoved. She was different; she was unique, intriguing and mind boggling mysterious. Lucy was… everything that Jo wasn't and maybe that's why I was so attracted to her. Jo had been great, we'd had a ton of fun, I'd fallen in love with her, but the way things ended… I was done with her and girls of her type and I could finally say that I was over her. I'd fallen head over heels with her complete opposite and I was, well, enjoying it.

Except for the fact that the two of us as a couple was never going to happen, the thought of Lucy suddenly made me anxious and I was totally _screwed_.

Logan laughed, "It looks like now, I guess."

My eyes darted over to the Palm Wood's side entrance and I found myself with severe cotton mouth, watching Lucy strut over to us in her sexy combat boots. Her violently red streaked hair was cut shorter and she was without her guitar case, but I assumed it was already in her apartment.

All four of us stood to greet her.

"Hey guys." Lucy waved at the guys and a moment later, turned to grin at me, "Hey Kendall."

I worked through the awkward hello that was threatening to come out and shoved my hands in my board shorts, smiling, "Hey Lucy."

"How was home? Did you bring any cute, long lost best friends back with you?" James peered around and over Lucy and she just rolled her eyes and smirked, "No."

"How were your parents?" I asked her.

She crossed her arms and sighed, "Oh you know, the same over protective, over-bearing Tom and Karen they've always been. I'm still the misunderstood rocker daughter who wears too much eye make-up."

She chuckled lightly and smiled at me. We'd talked about "Tom and Karen" many times before and she'd told me endless stories about their pleadings for her to change her ways, to come home and be the daughter they loved and missed. This was kind of an inside thing for the two of us; the guys were able to roll their eyes and scoff along with her, but they didn't understand the depth of her statement. It made me feel closer to her than the rest of BTR, and I took guilty pleasure in it. I had no intentions of proclaiming her mine and forbidding the guys to talk to her, but it made me feel good that none of them knew her the way I did.

"Well why don't we all go out for lunch? I'm starving." James invited.

Lucy's eyebrows knitted together and she pointed towards the Palm Woods, "I can't. I've got to finish unpacking, but how about dinner?"

The guys nodded and smiled, all of them muttering something along the lines of "no problem" and "sure" and "awesome". Lucy nodded and turned to me, clasping her hands together lightly, "Actually, Kendall I was hoping you'd help me get some stuff upstairs. I brought some amps from home and they're kind of heavy."

I looked at the guys and then back to her, "Uh, sure. I'll see you guys later."

I grabbed my sunglasses from the table and popped them on my head, following Lucy inside. She slowed her pace considerably when we were out of sight and bumped my shoulder lightly, keeping quiet. I recognized her sudden mood change and nudged her back softly. She turned her dark eyes up to mine, a melancholy smile scarring her face and a moment later, glanced away again.

"Was it that bad?" I asked quietly.

She breathed out heavily, "I just wish they would back off, ya know? Every time I walk in the room, they jump to attention and ask me what I need or how I'm doing. I know it sounds so bratty of me, to be annoyed at something like that, but it's like they think I'm going to shatter or something. I'm not made of glass."

"Why would they think that?" I asked, same soft tone as before. Lucy was tough, incredibly strong willed and brave, but it was these quiet conversations we had that required gentler tones and sympathy. It was always this one question, no matter the way it was phrased, that silenced her. She trusted me, I knew that, but this secret was… something I don't think she'd ever really talked about. It was going to be a while before she willingly confided in me, but I'd wait. There'd be a day when she needed to get it off her chest and I'd be there.

She pursed her lips and glanced up at me with knowing eyes, just like I knew she would after I asked the question. I sighed dramatically and looked away, "I know, I know, the big secret you can't talk about."

I brought her to a stand still with a hand on her arm and looked down at her, thoughtfully, "You know you can tell me, right?"

The tiny smile she'd been managing before dropped from her face and she looked down at her boots, digging her toe into the carpet, "I know that, Kendall," she met my eyes, "Someday I'll tell you. I'm just… not ready, to say it out loud even."

I was dangerously close to entering the friend zone if I wasn't already smack dab in the middle of it, but I just couldn't help myself. I didn't want to avoid talking about her real problems, her feelings, just so I might hold on to some semblance of a chance with her. She obviously needed to talk about… some of them; I was going to be there for her.

I touched her arm gently, hating the way it made my stomach lurch, but I grinned through the recurring realization that she'd never be mine and smiled, "Well I'll be waiting, ready for an earful."

Her dazzling smile was back in no time and she nodded, turning away, heading for the Palm Wood's entrance. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked around, confused.

"Where are you going?"

She turned and raised an eyebrow, a small smile still dancing across her light pink lips, and hitched a thumb over her shoulder, "To get the amps?"

My shoulders sagged and my mouth dropped open a little bit, "You were serious? I thought that was just a cover to get away from the guys."

She laughed, "Quit whining and come help me."

I grumbled quietly and followed her out the door. If I was being completely honest though: if given the chance, I'd probably follow her anywhere…

* * *

I flopped down on Lucy's couch and breathed out a sigh of relief. She fell down next to me and giggled, pushing my playfully, "I knew you could do it."

I peered over at her, "You know they only make your apartment even smaller."

A wicked smile graced her lips and her laugh was raspy and sexy, "Yeah, but just imagine how awesome I'll sound now."

"Your neighbors are going to loooove you."

She waved her hand in the air, a grin still plastered to her face, "Screw 'em."

I sat up, grinning, "Uhm, I'd really rather you didn't get kicked out."

She sat up as well and jutted her lip out, dark eyes shining brightly. It made my stomach lurch again and I silently swallowed the lump in my throat while she asked, "You would miss me Kendall?"

I scoffed, recovering quickly, "Of course. Who else is going to chastise me and the guys for acting like cavemen?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes, leaning back against the couch again. She pulled a pillow across her stomach and closed her eyes slowly, tiredly, waving me off, "You would all get along just fine without me."

My elbows rested on my knees, my fingers curled around each other tightly. I peeked over my shoulder at her and shook my head, "I wouldn't."

"Hmm?"

I smiled sadly and glanced away. I stood silently and pulled a blanket off the arm of the couch, draping it over her slowly. She adjusted her position to get more comfortable on the couch, but still managed to protest, "Where are you going? I thought we were hanging out."

I chuckled deeply and pulled the blanket up to her chin. I knelt down beside her and pushed a few strands of hair out of her face. I was lucky she was half asleep, she wouldn't remember this when she woke up. My fingers itched towards her cheek, but I pulled back quickly and told her, "Find me when you wake up, okay?"

"Mm, okay." She snuggled deeper in the couch and pulled the blanket up to her nose.

For a moment, I just sat there on one knee, watching her fall into a deep sleep, cursing the asshole who prevented me from having her all to myself. Lucy blamed her objection to dating on the one messy break up, but I was willing to bet so much more had happened to mold her into the way she was now. Break up's were bad, I knew that, but it was like… I don't know, like she had a fear of letting anyone be closer to her than a friend. I hoped maybe she'd come around sooner rather than later, but I was willing to wait. I shamefully allowed myself one touch, one little brush of a thumb across her cheek and then I forced myself to leave. Time away from her was just as important as time with her, because while I regretted none of my growing feelings for her, the _attachment_ I was beginning to feel wasn't healthy for her. I wanted to respect her choice not to date or pursue any romantic relationships, even if it killed me on the inside.

* * *

A little while later, after some lunch and a quick swim, I strode back into the apartment to find Logan and Katie, heads bent close together, obviously brewing up something devious. I shut the door loudly behind me and their faces shot up to stare at me. I pursed my lips and furrowed my eyebrows, pointing casually between the two of them, "Do I... _want_ to know?"

Logan sighed and jumped to his feet, "Camille's seeing someone and I'm trying to win her back before they get too serious!"

Katie raised an eyebrow, "He followed them on their second date and 'accidentally' ran into them. He needs my help."

I nodded, "Obviously."

Logan frowned, "What am I supposed to do?"

He stomped away, into his bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him, eliciting a few questionable noises. Katie sighed and dropped her face into her hands. I chuckled at her antics and went to sit down beside her. I reached an arm out and wrapped it around her shoulders. She leaned into me and we reclined back. Her tiny frame folded in on itself even more. "Trying to help you boys is really exhausting, you all better appreciate me."

I laughed, "We do, baby sister. We'd be lost without you."

Katie glanced up at me with big brown eyes, a certain gleam in them that made me a little bit nervous. My little sister was a little too smart for _my_ own good sometimes. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes; just waiting for her to say whatever intelligent comment that was coming.

"Why haven't you asked me for help yet?" She asked.

I licked my lips, "Because I don't need it."

She scoffed and squirmed in my grasp, poking me in the stomach, "I can tell. You and Lucy are such a cute couple."

I chuckled darkly, "Your sarcasm is unappreciated."

She sat up a little straighter and turned more fully towards me, "Come on Kendall, I can tell how much you like her. You're the happiest you've been since…"

"Jo. I know, but Lucy doesn't want a relationship right now. You know that."

Katie grumbled and sagged back down next to me. I opened my eyes and studied her face carefully. She rolled her eyes and smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"This is what I'm talking about. You all need me." She proclaimed. She turned her eyes back to me and said, "It's not that Lucy doesn't want a relationship, she just doesn't want another one to end as badly as the last one apparently did. It's more like… trust issues."

I mulled it over quietly and then quirked an eyebrow at Katie, "I thought you didn't understand teenage love?"

She shrugged, "I've been watching everyone a lot more closely lately. It's starting to make more sense."

I snickered, "Anyway, who's this new guy Camille is seeing?"

She sighed again, "Some guy named Aiden."

"So what's the deal?"

"Well, at first I thought she was only doing it to get under Logan's skin, I mean, you know their weird on and off relationship, but I spied on her and Aiden a little the other day and sometimes she looks like, I don't know, she genuinely likes him. I'm not entirely sure what Logan should do yet." She explained.

I shrugged, "Maybe she's actually done with him this time. They do kind of yank each other around."

"I know, but-"

"Katie!" Logan stormed back out of his room, face contorted in anger and annoyance. He had his fist in the air and was rushing towards the door, "Let's go! I just saw Camille and Aiden walk into the Palm Wood's lobby."

"Logan, you can't interrupt every date they-"

"Yes I can! Now are you with me or not?" He asked, holding the door open.

I shook my head gently and laughed, pulling Katie up with me. I pushed her a tad in front of me and said, "I'll come with. Let's see what's so great about this Aiden guy."

* * *

**A/N: **_So... how was it? Honest opinons guys. Also, I forgot to say, in this story, the whole "dibs" thing between Kendall and James and Lucy in the newest episode, never happened. Okay, now, review? (:_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, I'm really glad you all liked it. I'm going to try not to like, take forever to get the ball rolling on things, but I don't want everything to happen so quickly, so bare with me yo guys. Anyways, hope you all like this chapter; let me know what you think when you're done reading. Thank you!_

* * *

Katie and I waited the elevator ride out patiently while an agitated Logan bounced around on his feet beside us, mumbling colorful words and pounding his fist against the elevator doors. I couldn't help but shake my head at him and snicker when his face scrunched up in irritation. Katie leaned against me with crossed arms and studied her "client" with raised eyebrows.

Logan flew over to us with gritted teeth, "She could be falling madly in love with him by now! When did this elevator get so slow?"

"It's only their third date. I doubt she's planning their wedding." Katie reassured him.

The elevator doors slid open a second later and Logan grabbed Katie's hand, who grabbed my hand in hers and before I knew it, Logan was dragging both of us behind him like rag dolls through crowds of people. There was literally a sea of people in the lobby and Logan pushed and shoved to get to the front, all the while mumbling "sorry" and "excuse me". He pulled Katie up next to him when he broke through and I made my way next to her, trying to find the object of everyone's attention.

Logan narrowed his eyes at the two people in the middle of the room. He motioned an arm towards them, "Well, there's Aiden, but where is Camille?"

"Right here."

We all turned our gazes to Logan's left to find Camille standing beside him, arms crossed, glaring at the two people screaming at each other. Her feet were glued to the floor in a hard stance and a vicious look dominated her features. I glanced back towards the fighting two and wondered what the hell Lucy was doing screaming at Camille's new boyfriend.

"Camille, what's Lucy do-"

Camille shook her head, "That's Lucy's ex." She turned to Logan and me, "_The_ ex. He's such a jerk. I told her to let him have it."

Logan was over-come with joy at her words and asked with a giddy smile, "So you're not dating him? Or anyone?"

But all I could do was stand and stare at the back of _Aiden's_ head. It was him. He was the reason Lucy stone-walled when it came to dating or relationships. He was why she wasn't mine. He was the asshole that I'd been cursing earlier and I was suddenly overcome with rage. It bubbled up inside of me, raising my body temperature, making my vision swirl red. I watched as he took another step towards her and my fists clenched, fingernails digging into my palms. The only thing keeping me from storming forward and pummeling this guy, was Lucy. She wasn't simply standing there, taking his crap or backing down; she took a step forward and yelled at him just as loud, jabbing her finger into his chest, her face a mixture of hate and anger, a beautiful and scary combination of ferocity. Lucy could handle herself, she was strong and she'd probably only be angry if I tried to fight her battles for her. She had pride.

It was only when Aiden bent down close to her, whispering something to Lucy, the yelling match suddenly ending, did I start to get nauseous. Because she stopped fighting back, she stopped yelling and arguing her point. Her body solidified and her delicate pink lips parted slightly, in what I could only assume was shock. Aiden leaned back and laughed devilishly, before turning away from a still frozen Lucy and storming out the doors. People began to disperse then, realizing the fight was over, but I rushed forward, shoving them out of the way and stopping in front of her, hands in a death grip on her shoulders.

"Are you alright?" I asked wildly. Her eyes… were panicked, scared. Her bottom lip trembled a little bit and she blinked rapidly, staring off into space. Her shoulders were stiff beneath my hands and my stomach lurched. "Lucy?"

She shook her head furiously and turned back to me with a familiar mask in play. Its only flaw was her eyes. As if I'd been imagining things, the frightened look was gone and they were left blank and empty… worse. "I'm fine. That was my ex, Aiden. You know, the relationship that ended… messily."

I nodded my head once, slowly. But I didn't buy it, her sudden calm. The Lucy she'd been only a second ago had been miles away and afraid. My heart beat rapidly, torn between trying to get a real answer out of her and going after the douche who'd caused her such pain in a few short seconds. The way it'd consumed her, like she was paralyzed.

She looked me straight in the eyes and though her stubborn mask was back in place, the emotion on her face couldn't simply be covered up. Everything about her was screaming for help as she gently pushed away from me. My body ached to move towards her, but I stayed in place and stared her down, trying to physically pull an honest answer out of her. I bent a little closer so no one else would hear and demanded in a flat tone, "Tell me what happened."

She looked startled for a second, but covered it up remarkably fast, "You saw what happened, Kendall. I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend."

I stared down at her, "Lucy-"

"Listen," She took a step back, out of my grasp and my arms dropped, my beating organ tearing away from my body along with her, "I've got to go. I'll uh, see you at dinner, okay?"

Before I could protest or get a even a single word out, she'd turned away and fast-walked away from me, disappearing into the waiting elevator. I could actually feel the blood in my veins flowing fast beneath my skin. I was an assortment of concern, anxiety and anger. Half of my conscious pleaded with me to search out Aiden and beat him into oblivion, while the other half wanted nothing more than to find Lucy and force her to let me help her, hold her, _talk_ to her.

Ultimately, I decided on the former and turned to the Palm Wood's entrance having every intention of stalking out and finding Aiden. Only, I didn't get that far because someone grabbed my hand lightly and though I could've easily pulled free and kept waking, the gentleness of the touch stopped me. I turned around to find Katie staring up at me with those huge brown eyes that were wise beyond her years. She shook her head slowly and said, "It's not what she needs."

I raised my eyebrows and pointed to the doors, "Katie, he's an assho-"

"It doesn't matter right now." She told me.

I sighed, frustrated with the entire situation, "Well I can't follow her either, she wants to be alone."

Katie cocked her head to the side, "I didn't say to follow her. Be patient, she'll come around; and if she doesn't, you'll know the time to pull it out of her."

A low growl lodged in my throat, but I swallowed it and nodded, "Fine."

* * *

Dinner managed to roll around sooner rather than later, to my surprise. A large part of me worried that Lucy wouldn't show up. The more rational part of my brain understood why she might not, but I hoped, nonetheless, that she would. Even if we couldn't "talk" about anything really relevant, I wanted to see her, at least for a little bit.

The guys decided on the pizza place down the street and so that's where we were waiting now. Logan invited Camille to come "platonically" and she was just now walking in the door, but no Lucy. I resorted to shredding my napkin into strips, trying to keep occupied, trying not to be nervous.

Lucy knew that I knew something more had gone down, that it hadn't just been a fight with an ex. He'd said something to her that warped her whole personality in five seconds flat. I wanted to respect her choice on whether or not she told me, but I was so desperate to help her that I felt I needed to know. I wanted her to trust me, to know that I'd never betray that trust. I was a tornado of different emotions.

"Have y'all ordered yet?"

My eyes darted to the new additions at our table. Camille and Lucy stood side by side, smiling at all of us. It was only when Lucy's eyes grazed over me, that her smile faltered, but to my utter shock, she sat down next to me, in the empty spot I'd been inconspicuously saving for her. She'd had other options…

"Hey." She said.

"Hey."

She peeked over at me and asked, "Do you want to split something? I'm not that hungry."

I nodded, "Sure, pick whatever you want."

Camille plopped down right next to Logan and he beamed at her, his eyes barely moving to ask Lucy, "Hey Lucy, what happened earlier with Aiden? I can't believe that's the ex you've been talking about."

Lucy had a perfected mask on in seconds. She pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow, every bit the annoyed rocker we were used to.

"Ugh, yeah. Turns out he's moved down here to try and get an acting job and just my luck, his apartment is right down the hall from mine."

My fingers curled around my glass and it didn't go unnoticed. Lucy glanced up at me with an unreadable expression and then quickly turned back to the boys' and Camille's responses.

Camille placed a hand on the table, "If I'd known he was your ex, I never would've gone out with him. I'm sorry."

Lucy smiled, "Don't apologize, I don't care who he dates, but I'm glad you dumped him before things went… awry."

Camille smirked, "Yeah, I've got someone else in mind."

Both girls shared a sneaky glance before realizing all of us guys were staring at them with knitted eyebrows and confused expressions. They laughed together, shaking their heads and agreeing on something about "clueless boys".

Logan was acting a little dense and glared at Camille, "Who are you going to date now?"

Camille rolled her eyes and leaned over to Carlos, starting a new conversation about what kind of pizza he was going to order. Logan stared at her, wild eyed, even though she was politely ignoring him. I chuckled quietly and shook my head.

James proceeded to ask Lucy about home and what all she'd done there and she replied with detailed stories and plenty of eye rolls. I watched her as she spoke, falling deeper and deeper into the abyss that was my never ending feelings for her. I stared and had only two distinct thoughts the whole time. One: she was breathtakingly beautiful and two: I was totally screwed.

"Did you write any new songs while you were there?" James asked.

She sipped her drink quickly, "No, I mostly just saw a bunch of family."

"What about friends? Any cute ones you left back there?" James grinned.

Lucy hesitated and I was just about to cut in for her benefit when Carlos did the honors and turned to James in a frenzy.

"James! Will you please tell Camille here that thick crust is way better than thin crust?"

"Dude," James scrunched his nose, "Thin crust is better."

Camille motioned towards him, "Thank you."

"What?" Logan screeched, "How can you say that?"

"Can you please drop it?" Lucy growled/whispered to me.

The rest of the table was in a heated debate about pizza crust so I took the moment to have a silent conversation; one that, if it was up to me, would not end in one of us walking away without all the information. Maybe she wouldn't tell me what'd happened here, and I got that, but a promise to tell me later, in the near future, was what I was aiming for.

I leaned closer to her and whispered back, "I thought we discussed the fact that you can trust me."

She pushed forward, gritting her teeth, "This isn't about trust! There isn't anything to tell regardless."

"Bull shit." I whispered.

She stared at me, a certain flaming passion back in her eyes, if only for a minute. She huffed out a breath and turned away from me, sipping her drink, staring out the window, picking at her nail polish, doing anything to keep from meeting my gaze.

"I saw… something earlier, I know I did. I don't understand why you're trying to deny it." I whispered.

She flipped her head back to me and whispered ferociously, "It freaks me out, how well you can… read me."

"Why?"

She opened her mouth to give an explanation, but nothing came out. She snapped her pink lips shut and turned away again, sighing. She was obviously just as frustrated as I was. Which was why I didn't really understand why she wouldn't confide in me? A silent few minutes later though, she turned to me with an answer ready on her lips.

"Because I try so hard to be a different person, to hide my secrets and you take one look at me and… I'm stripped; I can't hide things from you and it unsettles me."

I nodded and looked down at the wooden table, "Despite what you may think Lucy, this is about trust." I met her eyes gently, "Because I need you to _trust_ me enough to let me help you. I get that it frightens you, that it scares the hell out of you even… but I'm not Aiden."

Her eyes flashed quickly and she whispered, "Trust me, I know."

"I do."

Her eyebrows knitted together, "You do what?"

"Trust you."

She stared at me, dark eyes swirling with confusion. Our entire conversation had gone completely unnoticed by the rest of the table, but I could feel it drawing to an end. I scooted closer to her, intent on whispering one more convincing thought, but she beat me, scooting even closer and saying, in such a small voice that I had to close my eyes to hear, "We'll talk later tonight, but please, let me enjoy a few more hours with you and the guys before I have to… to say it."

I opened my eyes to find her even closer than before and I looked down at her, her pleading face. "Okay."

She smiled briefly, "Thank you."

"What do you guys think?"

Lucy and I jumped back and away from each other just like in every clichéd movie and stared at the intruding voice. Carlos, James, Logan and Camille were all staring at us like we'd both grown a second head. Before the already awkward silence got too long and awkward, I managed to remember snippets of their conversation before I'd stopped listening all together.

"Thick crust." I commented.

Lucy nodded, "Definitely thick."

"What?" James and Camille screeched.

And once again, the four of them launched into another passionate discussion about… pizza crust. I glanced down at Lucy and found her watching the guys and Camille with a full blown grin on her face. It almost made me want to take it all back and assure her that she never had to talk about her secret if she didn't want too.

Of course, I didn't say that.

Almost.

But not quite.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hope it was much e joyed. New chapter soon, thanks guys._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_Hey everyone! Here's chapter 3, we're getting closer and closer to the secrettt(; The fourth chapter is already written and I'm so excited for you all to read and find out what's happened. Fair warning, the secret is not a happy one obviously and it doesn't have a happy ending, but I feel it developes the story and the characters more._

_So as soon as this story hits 30 reviews, the fourth chapter goes up! I really do appreciate all the reviews and alerts and favorites, but I want to hear from all of you more. I want to know if it's still keeping you interested or if I need to change anythin or what's going on so please, please, please review (: Anyways..._

* * *

Everyone decided it'd be a good idea to head down to the carnival that was in town this week. There hadn't been too many of them in Minnesota; not many that we actually went to, at least. Besides, if Lucy planned on telling me what was wrong with her and all she needed was a few more hours, I could give it to her, gladly. She seemed to be having fun anyways. She walked in the midst of all the rides and games with a huge smile on her face, all the rainbow colored lights reflected in her eyes.

Logan had won Camille an entirely too large teddy bear which she was now pretty much dragging behind her. He was subtly trying to wrap an arm around her shoulders or hold her hand and she continued to gently push him away or pull away from him. It was all part of their little flirting game; or _her_ game. It was amusing, to say the least. It was so obvious that they'd eventually end up dating, but I knew Camille enjoyed being in control of their relationship status. They were simply having fun and it was humorous to watch.

"You look a million miles away." Lucy bumped me with her shoulder.

I shrugged and crossed my arms, smiling and motioning to Logan and Camille, "It's easy for them."

Her eyebrows shot up and she scoffed, "Easy? Camille has to constantly make Logan jealous to keep him interested. Then you all go on tour and Logan has to be away from her for months at a time. It's only little moments like these that they really have together."

I shook my head, "That's not what I'm talking about. It's simple, they like each other and that's all they have to know. I know it seems like Camille has to keep doing things to keep Logan's attention, but she's always going to have it. He pretends not to care so much because of a past experience with a girl, but he loves her. They play games because they enjoy it, not because they have to."

Lucy watched them quietly for a moment. She pulled her jacket tighter around her and started to nod her head, "You're right. It is easy."

"That's something that I want." I admitted. "Jo and I had fun, but there was always a little something in the way; other guys, her dad, our ridiculous schedules. It wasn't… easy, simple."

"I can't imagine that any relationship you or the guys have will be easy, considering your schedules." Lucy pointed out.

"I know, but that's another thing. I always wanted to see and spend time with Jo, but there was a time when I didn't even feel like putting forth the effort. Camille and Logan? They play their games and put their all into everything they do because they're fighting for their relationship, for each other. I didn't always feel like doing that for Jo."

"I understand." She told me softly. We walked along the carnival tents, mostly silent, pointing interesting things out to each other. We stayed away from more serious topics for a while, until she slowed slightly and said, with crossed arms, "I suppose it's my turn to share something."

I glanced away from her worried face, "Not necessarily; you've got about another two hours."

"Thanks for reminding me." She replied sarcastically.

I sighed and plopped down on a nearby bench. She followed me over and sat down next to me, leaning into my side. I took a deep breath and looked down at her, "You make it sound like I'm being terrible, forcing you to reveal your darkest secrets and maybe I am, but…"

I sighed, not able to come up with a good enough "but". I reclined back a little and looked up at the dark sky. Lucy scooted away from me and for a second I flinched, just knowing that I'd managed to push her away again. Instead, she turned more fully towards me and grabbed my hand with a feather light touch.

"And maybe I'm being ridiculously stubborn. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I've kept this… this secret for so long, it's probably time I actually say it loud, but… I'm scared Kendall. I mean, the past is the past and nothing can be changed or undone, but the state of mind I was in back then, the things I felt… I don't want to ever go back there."

I squeezed her hand in mine, the muscles in my arms and shoulders noticeably less tense after having made physical contact with her. I looked over at her with hooded eyes, trying to pinpoint the exact day or minute I realized that I'd started to fall for her. I was amazed that no one had swept her away from me yet. Granted, Lucy was a tough catch and I highly doubted she would date just any douche; which was why I so desperately wanted to know what made her decide to be with a guy like Aiden.

I sighed dramatically, trying to lighten the mood and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her comfortably tight against me, "Not to worry my dear; never again!"

She giggled wonderfully and poked and prodded me in the stomach until I released her; but even after loosening my grip and moving my arm, she stayed close. She tilted her head on my shoulder and I could practically hear the smile in her voice when she said, "Thank you for everything. I'll probably hate you later when I… tell you, or at least say that I hate you, but try to remember, you are the best thing- friend I've ever had."

I watched her eyes flutter closed peacefully and I turned my face away from her. If a friend was what she wanted, that's exactly what she'd get. It tore me apart, but I hoped I'd be able to hold it together. For as long as she needed, I'd be her friend.

"Kendall! Lucy! Let's go, it's time to have some fun." James called out to us.

Lucy chuckled and jumped to her feet, pulling me up with her. We jogged over to the rest of the group and all started towards the bigger rides. Carlos and Logan were betting on who'd be throwing up first, James and Camille were discussing some of the best pizza places they'd eaten at and Lucy was staring up at the ride we were passing now. She turned to me and smiled, "Let's go on that one."

I grinner, "Okay. Guys, where are the tickets?"

James shook his head, "Dude. That one is bad. I thought I was going to revisit the pizza we had for dinner."

Lucy raised an eyebrow and strode over to him, hands on her hips, "You're a wimp. Just give us the tickets."

James scoffed, "I am not a wimp!"

"Then come with us. Can you handle it again?" Lucy rivaled, cocking her head to the side.

James glared down at her with furrowed eyebrows. Carlos patted James' shoulder and took a deep breath. He shook his head, "Dude, it's not worth it."

James shrugged him off and stomped over to Logan, holding his hand out, "Just give us some tickets."

Lucy laughed evilly and winked at me, knowing she'd won and probably excited to see James throw up. I laughed quietly and followed her and James over to the line. It was short and I had a feeling it was because the aftermath had been less than wonderful.

"I gotta pee first." Lucy smiled and grabbed Camille's hand, dragging her away from Logan.

Logan stared after them, "Since when does Lucy Stone need a pee buddy?"

I shrugged, "There's a lot we still don't know about her."

Logan nodded an agreement and then turned to me giddily, "Camille wants me back."

I laughed and crossed my arms, "I figured she would eventually."

James sauntered over with a somber expression and his hands buried deep in his pockets. He jutted his chin in the direction of the girl's bathroom, "Isn't that Lucy's ex right over there?"

My heart rate picked up speed and I glanced over to where he was motioning. Sure enough, there was Aiden, a possessive arm wrapped around a random girl. They were standing right by the bathrooms and I knew as soon as Lucy came out, she'd see him. She deserved a little while longer without having to think about or see him. I'd be damned if he was going to screw with her tonight.

"Shit." I breathed and jogged over to the bathrooms. I stood a few feet behind Aiden, my back to him, with my hands shoved into my pockets. I glanced around nervously and prayed to any god above that he'd sauntered away by now. Lucy and Camille emerged not ten seconds later, smiling. They stopped for a split second and watched me with curious eyes.

"What're you doing?" Camille asked.

"Waiting." I replied shortly. Of course, in my rush to get over here, I didn't think of a good enough excuse for why I was basically waiting right outside the door.

They glanced over at the guys who were waiting closer to the line and watching with wide, worried gazes. Lucy turned her eyes back to me and glanced around skeptically. "Why aren't you with the guys?"

I took a deep breath and rushed out, "I don't know, let's just get back in line, come on."

Camille shrugged her shoulders, "Alright." She strode forward without a look behind her, but Lucy was a little slower and continued to stare at me, like I was a freak.

"You're acting weird." She said.

"I know, I'm sorry. Let's just go." I tried to usher her ahead of me.

"Well if it isn't my lovely ex-girlfriend."

Lucy froze on sight, her eyes losing focus. My heart rammed against my chest and I took two steps towards her, making sure I was the only thing in her line of sight. I bent close to her, totally invading her personal space and mumbled, "Let's go, please. Just come with me."

She nodded briefly and I snatched her hand in mine, intent on turning and fast walking back to everyone else, but as soon as I spun around, I came face to face with Aiden. He had the most arrogant look on his face and crossed his arms, not letting me by. Anger coursed through my body and I took a deep breath, somewhat trying to keep Lucy behind me.

Aiden chuckled and peered behind me, "You gonna let this guy fight your battles?"

I surged forward and fisted his shirt in my hands. I was noticeably taller than him and it obviously gave me an edge. I pulled him towards me and growled, "Get the hell out of here."

"Last time I checked, I was allowed to be here." He pushed away from me.

Out of nowhere, Carlos, Logan and James were standing beside me, furious expressions and tensed shoulders. For a second, Aiden looked a little intimidated. He covered it up quickly by laughing and pulling the girl with him, closer to his side. He held up a hand in mock surrender and smirked, "I'm not about to fight over Lucy. She's not worth it."

My fists clenched and James grabbed my forearm in an iron grip, probably gathering enough information to know that I was a second away from swinging. I glared at Aiden until he laughed again and walked away with his girl. I didn't relax until he was out of sight, but when he was, I turned around hurriedly and found Camille staring at me with knitted eyebrows and a helpless expression.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "She started to back away and told me not to follow her."

My shoulders sagged and I covered my face with a hand, "Shit."

"We'll find her, man." Carlos assured me.

"I have to go after her." I said, making a move to leave.

"Kendall-"

"I'll see you guys later." And I took off through the carnival, not finding her, not an option.

* * *

I'd gotten multiple texts from the guys asking me where I was and when I planned on coming back. I'd gone around the entire festival five times and I hadn't seen Lucy once. The only reason I continued to check my phone was because I hoped it might be her. Of course it never was. I was starting to get exhausted, running around and around, but I needed to find her. Unfortunately, the park was beginning to empty and there were few families and couples left. The vendors were starting to pack up and close down their tents and I finally deflated, excepting the fact that she wasn't here and could be anywhere. She was probably back at home with a locked door and her amps cranked.

I dialed Logan and told him that I'd meet them back at the apartment. They offered to wait for me, so we could all take a cab or two home, but I honestly didn't feel like being around anyone right now.

I left the carnival and hailed a cab, turning my phone off for the twenty-five minute ride. The cab driver tried to start a conversation with me more than once, but I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts to really form intelligent words.

He finally pulled up outside the Palm Woods and I tossed most of the cash in my pocket over the front seat. It was probably more than the fair actually cost, but I couldn't be bothered to care. I slammed the door shut with a little more force than necessary and made my way towards the doors. The lobby was lit, but for the most part, a little dark and Mr. Bitters' night shift replacement was flipping through a magazine behind the desk. He didn't say anything to me and I barely cast a second glance up.

I strode over to the elevator, but when I thought about what a good mood the guys would be in and me not wanting to spoil it, I decided against going up to the apartment right now. I turned away and pushed the pool side door open, thinking it was a good idea to sit outside for a while and relax.

I laid down in one of the lounge chairs and stuck my hands behind my head, eyes closing easily. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and switched it on quickly, just in case, before setting it down on the table beside me.

Instead of some peace and quiet, my phone buzzed immediately. I sighed and picked it up, reading Carlos' message, asking me where I was. I told him I was downstairs and wanted to be left alone. I prayed they'd leave me be, I didn't even feel like I had the energy to speak. I closed my eyes again and started to hum one of the songs off our new album. I claimed to want to be alone so I could think, but when I started to do that, it only made me feel worse, so I distracted myself with my music. It was a song that I'd written myself while we were on the road. It turned out far better than I imagined it would and everyone had ended up happy with it.

Distantly, I heard the side doors open and I sighed deeply, bolting upright and calling out, "Carlos, I said I wanted to be alone."

I turned my head and found none other than the object of my obsession standing right outside the doors. She looked a little shell shocked and her arms were ram rod straight beside her torso. I sat up a little straighter, "Lucy."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She spun around.

I shot to my feet and commanded, "Stop."

She froze again and ducked her head slightly. She didn't turn around and I walked over to her, my hands wrapping around her biceps. Her head tilted back up and maybe I was imagining things, but she seemed to relax just the tiniest bit.

"I couldn't stay."

I nodded, "I understand."

She turned around and stared up at me with vulnerable brown eyes. She turned her face away from me and her eyes closed slowly. She twisted her fingers into knots and all but whispered, "And I don't think I can tell you; I can't say it out loud."

"Lucy-"

"No, just stop it." She walked around me and away, shaking her hands angrily in the air. She stomped away and then paced back and forth. I could hear her mumbling to herself, but I didn't interrupt. She finally stopped and faced me, "I can't say it Kendall, I refuse. It's my business and nobody else's. I don't want to say it and you're not going to make me, you're not!"

I stormed forward and stared her in the eyes, grabbing her arms in my hands. I bent down to her level and just about yelled, "You _are_ going to tell, because I'm not going to stand by and watch you change into a shell of the person you really are. I-I… you're one of my best friends and I care about you too much to let you do this to yourself. Maybe you could hold this secret in before and push it to the back of your mind, but Aiden's back and you can't do that anymore. Stop fooling yourself and for once, do what you keep telling me and put your trust in me."

She examined my face with unchanging eyes, but finally, to my great relief, she nodded and ordered me to sit down. I did exactly what she said and pulled her down beside me, refusing to relinquish her hands.

She took a deep breath… and started.

* * *

**A/N:** _Holy balls. So I've edited this chapter three times now, and every time I've clicked "Save", my internet jacks up and I have to start all over! So let me just copy all of this real quick... alright now, lol, I want to thank everyone again for the reviews and everything else and I hope to hear from everyone soon._

_Remember! 30 reviews and the 4th goes up! And I REALLY want you all to read it, so Go! Go! Go! (: I love all of you!_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_First off, I just want to start off by saying that you all, are so amazing. You made me so happy with all the reviews and new story follows, I just... I'm so glad everyone is liking the story and that I'm doing the characters justice. I heard a lot of that, by the way, that you all liked the way I'm writing Kendall and can I just say, I'm so relieved. I was a little worried I was writing him weirdly, but apparently not? Lol, so thank you again!_

_Second. HOLY BALLS. Have you all seen the new BTR episode that aired tonight? So much Kucy, I was fan-girling all over the place, lol. I can't wait to see where the writers take the two of them and HELLO? Did you all *see the way that Kendall was looking at Lucy during "Cover Girl"? My family thought I was dying, I was squealing so loudly. Haha, anyways..._

_I want to calm it down a little bit now, because well... the secret is out and like I assured you before, it's not a happy one. So take a second to breathe and get in a more settled mood. So again, I want to thank you all for being so wonderful and I'm praying you all like the chapter. Thanks again, for the last time and without further adieu!..._

* * *

"I was fifteen when I first met Aiden. I was at that age where, every single person and all their different personalities and mannerisms were so intriguing. I wanted to be everything; I wanted to be the princess who everyone came to for advice. I wanted to be the quiet, goth girl in the corner who nobody bothered. I wanted to be the girl that aced every test and had geeky friends who would obsess over hot super heroes with me. I wanted to be the girl sitting on her teammate's shoulders, throwing the trophy in the air like it was mine alone. I didn't know who I was, to say the least. It was the most critical time of a teenage girl's life and… that's when Aiden came along.

"He was the new guy at school. He was dark and mysterious, but likeable enough that he didn't frighten people away. He was _the_ bad boy and quickly rising to the top of the social ladder. My life turned into a cliché then. Every guy wanted to hang with him on the weekends, get high with him and every girl wanted bragging rights, to call themselves Aiden Steele's girlfriend; including me." Lucy smiled over at me bitterly, "You can imagine my surprise when he started to take an interest in me. I was everyone's friend, but not important enough to really grab anyone's attention. So when he approached me with that wicked smirk and those deceivingly charming eyes, I couldn't help but be entranced.

"It wasn't too much time later that I became just as popular as he was. He sculpted me into the perfect… bitch. I was his perfect dark princess and I didn't think to ever question his choices, to second guess his decisions. I was his toy, although I didn't know it at the time. I didn't care enough about consequences to really think about what we were doing."

She wrapped her arms around herself and stared down at the ground, "My attitude towards everything changed so fast, I'm surprised I didn't get whiplash. My grades dropped dramatically, every day I didn't spend in detention, I was with Aiden, going to parties and getting high… having sex.

"A part of me recognized my behavior as something I never would've done before, but at the time, I assumed that this was teenage life. I was convinced that everyone was doing what I was and if you weren't, well, you simply weren't living. I chalked that small part of me, the one that was having second thoughts, up to my childhood innocence. And because of the person I'd turned into, I wanted nothing more than to destroy that last little bit of innocence. So it got even worse after that. I started stealing and vandalizing. I was a hurricane of destruction and it only made me more desirable to Aiden.

"We were together for two years when it happened. We were at a friend's party, drinking, smoking, having a blast, whatever… I was too drunk and too high to remember the night in detail, but I do remember waking up the next morning, in some guy's house, naked and in bed with Aiden. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it'd happened too many times for me to be worried or uncomfortable, but… I just remember feeling so god awful; like I'd done something terrible.

"Looking back, I don't know how I knew. I'm not sure it's even possible to know the morning after, but I did. I forced Aiden awake and demanded he take me home. Two or three weeks later, as soon as I possibly could, I took a pregnancy test," Lucy's eyes rose to meet mine slowly and her eyebrows knit together, in the most helpless expression, "and it was positive."

She peered away quickly and took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing.

"I told Aiden first, before my parents even. I stupidly thought that some part of him would be a little excited. I mean, I really believed he loved me and we'd created this life together. I was scared as hell, don't get me wrong, but I honestly thought that Aiden and I were in this together and so my excitement, for the most part, overshadowed my fear.

"Aiden was less than thrilled, of course. He got angry and accused me of sleeping around. I hadn't, never had; he was my first and only lover. Eventually, I somehow managed to convince him that the baby was his. He was even less happy when he realized I was telling the truth; he planned on leaving me, letting me raise it on my own. That all changed when his parents caught wind of our, or _my_, predicament. They told Aiden that if he didn't stay and help me raise _his_ kid that they'd cut him off completely, he would receive no inheritance and he'd be kicked out immediately. So he stayed; he wasn't faithful, _everyone_ knew that, but he kept the pretense of our relationship intact."

Lucy's arms constricted around her torso and she cleared her throat quietly before glancing up at me. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears and she smiled a smile that shattered my heart.

"I was six months pregnant. I'd already had numerous ultrasounds and doctor's appointments and even though I knew Aiden didn't want to be around and that he probably resented our baby, I was happy. I was seventeen and scared shitless, but such a large part of me felt that I was ready to be a mother, that maybe this was exactly what was supposed to happen, I just couldn't help but feel joy. I wanted that baby more than anything. It was going to be my new purpose for living."

Her smile dropped and she turned away.

"I was just about to leave for a checkup when Aiden showed. He explained that his parents felt he needed to be there for at least one doctor's appointment and that he (reluctantly) agreed to take me to this one. We hadn't spent much time together in a while, but I still had false hope that maybe, this would change things. I imagined him seeing the ultrasound, his first one, and falling in love with the baby instantly, just like I had.

"That wasn't the case, because we never made it to the appointment. We were ten minutes away from the doctor's office when he got a text from the girl he'd secretly been seeing. I'm not sure what it said because before I could tell him to put his damn phone down and watch the road, we got into an accident. I was knocked out for twenty minutes and when I woke up again, I was in an ambulance. They rushed me to the hospital, but I found out a while later that it wouldn't have mattered. I lost the baby while Aiden and I were still trapped in the car."

It was silent for a few minutes. She didn't say anything and I stayed absolutely silent, unsure of what to say. She turned back to me and smiled sadly, effectively tearing my impossibly still beating heart from my chest.

"It was a girl… a little girl; my daughter. I was going to name her Spencer. My parents and I had already decorated a room for her. We painted it pink and bought so many stuffed animals, I didn't have a place for them all. I'd spend hours strumming a guitar and singing to her. I wanted her to recognize my voice like all the books say they do. I wanted her, Kendall. I wanted her more than I've wanted anything in my entire life."

I felt a hot tear fall down my face and I snatched Lucy up in my embrace. I pulled her so tightly against me that I feared I may be hurting her. I pressed my mouth to the top of her head and squeezed my eyes shut, not able to imagine the pain she'd felt, that she still carried with her. Her arms wound around my waist and she turned her face into my chest, sobs rocking her frame. She seemed so impossibly delicate in my arms, it frightened me. I didn't know what to do, what to say and it tore me apart that all I could do was sit here and hold her. I whispered reassurances in her ear and rocked back and forth, trying anything at all to soothe her. She continued to cry and it made my entire body ache to see and hear about all the pain she'd experienced. She seemed so at ease, so careless all the time, she was truly magnificent. She had to be _the_ strongest person I'd ever met.

She gradually began to calm down, her crying becoming quieter and quieter. We sat together, huddled in each other's arms, not speaking, hardly moving. Her sobs turned into hiccups and she started to take deep breaths; in and out, slowly. She sat up carefully, but I kept an arm around her shoulders. She sniffled quietly and rubbed at her face.

"After the accident, I changed. I became this… this shell of a person; of who I'd originally been. I stopped talking to my friends; I stopped talking all together for a while. I hardly left my room for a month. My parents fawned all over me and I understood why, but every moment they didn't leave me alone, was killing me. Eventually, I started to fake smiles for them and pretend like I was moving on, but I wasn't. As soon as they shut the door, I fell back into bed and stared at the ceiling like I'd been doing before they came in. School only allowed me so much time away before I started to fall too far behind, without a chance of catching up. My parents' decided to home school me and I blew through it quickly, graduating at seventeen. It was exactly three months before my eighteenth birthday that I started to put effort into rejoining the living. I knew that I had to get away from the house and the people and the town in general and I knew that if I didn't start improving dramatically, my parents weren't going to let me leave without a knockdown, drag out fight. So I changed. I honestly changed, I started to see a therapist and I learned to put the past behind me. I think about Spencer every day. I wonder what she would look like, if she would recognize me like I hoped, but I've learned to do it without falling apart. So when the time came, when I turned eighteen, I left as quickly as possible and moved far away, physically putting everything behind me. I'm a new me, I'm better. I'm moving on and I'm okay now."

I sighed Lucy's name and buried my face in her hair again. I kept my eyes closed and pursed my lips, so many different emotions coursing through me. I decided to push them all away and simply revel in the feel of her hand on the base of my neck, fingers playing with my hair. "You are incredible."

She laughed quietly, "I'm not, but it's nice to hear anyways."

I pulled back and stared her in the eyes, "Don't sell yourself short. Not just anyone could make a conscious decision to change and move away from their family to pursue a new dream; in such a short time, no less. You're doing so well for yourself Lucy, you're living on your own and you're okay, you're on your way to becoming a rock star," I smiled, "You're phenomenal."

She chuckled quietly and scooted closer to me again, "You were right. I feel… a little better, having said it out loud."

I rubbed a hand up and down her arm, trying to put her further at ease. I grinned, "I'm glad."

She pulled away quickly, "That doesn't mean I'm telling anyone else and neither can you. Not the guys, not your mom and not your sister."

"I swear. Your secret is safe with me."

Lucy stared at me, unmoving, her dark, mysterious eyes swirling with unidentifiable emotions. It was insanity how amazingly hypnotizing they were. I didn't think I'd be able to look away if I tried and… well, I wasn't trying. A slow smile started to dance across her face and she pushed her hair behind her ear, a tiny giggle escaping. She leaned forward carefully and pressed her lips to my cheek for a brief moment, "I know."

I kept an arm around her waist and took one of her hands in mine, turning the conversation back to previous topics just for a moment. I hated to ask, but I was dying to know; dying to know how far the comment might have set her back, dying to know whether I had the right to kick Aiden's ass. I needed to know.

"I'm sorry to bring it up again, the whole situation, I'm sure you're ready to be finished talking about it, but… what did Aiden say to you? It worried me, the way you reacted, like he'd physically hit you."

She sighed and squeezed my hand, "Uhm… Aiden knew how excited I was to have Spencer, he knew how much I already cared for her and today… he was just looking to make a low blow."

I squeezed her hand back, "What did he say?"

She stared down into the depths of the still pool water. She said it so low that I almost didn't catch it… but I did and it sent me into a down spiraling fury.

"He said he was glad that I'd never had his kid."

I flew off the lounge chair and paced back and forth, my vision clouding with so much red, I feared I might stumble into the pool. I gritted my teeth and breathed heavily, not knowing whether to murder him that second or drag out the process and make him pay for all the things he'd done. Right now, the latter seemed the more appealing option. A low growl lodged itself in my throat and I gnashed my teeth together harder. I could faintly recall Lucy getting to her feet and rushing over to me, but I could hardly form coherent thoughts, much less stop moving all together.

I don't know how she did it, but she managed to pull me to a stand still. She placed her hands on my chest and looked up into my face until I met her eyes. I sighed and she tilted her head to the side, voice hushed and soft.

"It's not worth it, Kendall."

My face contorted in confusion and irritation. "What do you mean it's not worth it? That asshole hasn't paid for a thing he's done and you want me to just keep letting him walk around like he's the most perfect thing to touch this earth? I'm going to kill him."

Her arms dropped and her eyebrows furrowed, "Don't you think I want him to pay? Don't you think I fantasized about tearing that son of a bitch apart? I want him to rot in hell for everything he took from me, but in the end, wasting time on him is everything he wants. He wants me to hurt, he wants me to think about him and the control he thinks he has over me. I told you, I moved on. I'm different. I will never forget and I will never forgive him, but I've stopped mulling over what could have been. He's nothing, Kendall. He doesn't deserve your time or effort."

I sighed, my hands balling into fists, "I get where you're coming from Lucy, I do, but I can't… I can't let him walk around the place we live without any consequences."

She shook her head, "Why can't you just let this go? I have."

"Because I care about you and none of this is fair to you."

"I know that!" She yelled. She turned away from me and buried her face in her hands. She tried to control herself, to hold back the tears, but I saw the way her shoulders shook. And I hated that she was crying in reaction to something that I'd said. I sighed quietly and strode over to her, wrapped my arms around her from behind and rested my chin on top of her head.

"I'm sorry, I just… I hate the way he treated you, I hate what he's done. I don't want him here, to be a constant reminder of what you've tried so hard to move on from."

She wiped at her face and turned around. I removed my arms and looked down at her, relieved that she'd stopped crying. Her lips twitched in a hint of a smile and she touched my arm with a feather light hand.

"I'm going to be okay. As long as I don't have to talk to him all that often, I'll survive. As a matter of fact, I officially appoint you my new body guard." She smiled, "Keep that prick away from me."

I smirked, "Yes ma'am."

She sighed quietly and glanced towards the doors. "Escort me to my room? It's been a long day."

She linked her arm through mine and we made our way towards the Palm Woods. I held the door open for her and she smiled a thank you. We stepped on to the elevator and I turned to her, "Let's hang out tomorrow. Anything you want to do."

She grinned evilly and rubbed her hands together dramatically, "Anything I want?"

"Within reason." I told her.

"Great! I have the perfect idea."

"Which is…?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." She pulled me down to kiss my cheek again and stepped off the elevator just as it opened. I watched her strut to her door before pressing my floor button. I leaned back against the elevator wall and wondered how the hell I was supposed to keep from pummeling Aiden the next time I saw him.

* * *

**A/N: **_So... was it good enough? Was it worth the wait? Let me know! I do want to apologize for not really adding in her parents reaction to her pregnancy, but I'd already had the chapter written before tonights new BTR episode and I didn't realize how... disapproving them might have been. So let's all just pretend they don't have that big of a stick up their asses, mkay?_

_Lol, anyways, like I said, I hoped you enjoyed and PLEASE let me know what you think, it's much appreciated. I. LOVE. YOU. *ALL 3_


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